Journey to Baby #2
It’s been a total of six and a half years since Travis and I started working on building a family. For those of you who don’t know, before we had Mase, I had tests, surgeries, failed IUI’s and finally we did IVF and became pregnant in January 2018. I have a full blog about my IVF journey with Mason here.
Fast forward to 2020 and we decided we were ready to try and grow our family. We had three embryos left, and felt ready to go down the path of IVF once again. What we didn’t expect was a global pandemic to hit and close the fertility clinic, which of course paused our plans. Finally in July, the clinic re-opened and we proceeded with an embryo transfer. I felt much calmer this time around. Maybe because I knew what to expect. In any case, I went for my transfer on July 22, 2020. With Mason, I didn’t take any at home pregnancy tests because I was so worried about getting a false positive. This time, I really couldn’t wait anymore. At 6DPT (6 days post transfer), I tested and I saw it immediately. I saw a faint pink line. I cried and was ecstatic. I tested every day until I got my bloodwork back and the nurse called to confirm I was pregnant. We were elated. And I know this sounds so silly, but I wasn’t at all worried about miscarrying. I thought the hardest part was IVF and the embryo transfer. Everything had been ok with Mase, so why wouldn’t it be this time? Unfortunately, I miscarried and was shattered. If you are interested in reading about my experience, I have linked it here.
We decided to take some time off before we tried again. Not only did my body need to heal after having a D&C, but I also needed time to heal emotionally. I felt so broken and we really wanted to make sure we were fully ready to dive back in. We were now down to two embryos. Two more chances at getting pregnant. It seemed like the likelihood of us growing our family was slipping away. Nonetheless, when November rolled around and I was on Day 1 of my cycle I contacted my fertility clinic to try again. Unfortunately, due to the timing of my cycle and the clinic closure for the holidays, they were shutting down early and I would miss my window to have a transfer. We were gutted. It took months to mentally prepare to try again, and when we were finally ready, the clinic wasn’t open. Like are you joking me? I shed many tears thinking about our missed opportunity, but realized once again, it was out of my control and I had no choice but to wait until January to do a transfer.
So the holidays came and went, and then in January we were quarantined when we had a close contact situation. I was TERRIFIED I was going to be quarantined when I needed to go in for a transfer and would miss my window yet again. Luckily, I realized the timing would work out and I would be out of quarantine by the time I would need to go into Heartland. I had been in contact with the clinic who had sent over my Embryo Transfer Protocol (it was a little different this time since I had miscarried during the last transfer). I called my Pharmacy and had my prescription filled and delivered to my house since I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere. I was patiently waiting for my period so I could start my medication. They had been SUPER erratic since I miscarried, but I knew it was coming any day. I was bloated, crampy and cranky LOL. Of course, after years of praying for a missed period, I was praying for it to come so we could get started on another transfer!
January 19 rolled around which was our first day out of quarantine and my first day back in the office. I still hadn’t gotten my period and decided to do what I knew ALWAYS worked….take a pregnancy test. I swear, any time I ever thought I was pregnant and took a test, I would get my period like 5 minutes later. So on my way to the office, I stopped at the drugstore and grabbed a test. I went into my office and put down my massive box of computer equipment that I had dropped off while I was at home, and went to the washroom to take a test. Then I saw it….clear as day…two EXTREMELY pink lines. What was happening? I was in shock. I stood in the bathroom staring at the test so confused. There was no way this was happening to me. Standing in the very same bathroom I stood in when I got the call from Heartland to tell me I was pregnant almost three years prior with Mason, it all felt surreal. I went back to my office and messaged my fertility clinic right away. I told them I thought I might be pregnant, and they told me if I could go for bloodwork that same day, they would get the results tomorrow. So just as quickly as I got to work, I ran out the door. I called Travis before I left and said “you’re never going to believe this…but I’m pregnant”. He was in shock! I was in shock! It was definitely not the way I ever planned to tell Travis we were pregnant, but it was this perfectly imperfect moment where I was able to completely surprise him.
I went for my bloodwork, stopped at the drugstore for another handful of pregnancy tests, and went back to work. When I got home at the end of the day, Trav and I just stood there and stared at each other in shock! I took another test, this time a digital one, and it there it was again…pregnant! After the shock wore off, we finally stood there and had our moment. We cried happy tears, and counted our blessings that after six and a half years of infertility….we were pregnant! Naturally! Without trying. The surprise of a lifetime.
The next day, Heartland called to confirm I was 5 weeks pregnant. It was official. Our rainbow baby was our miracle baby. Never in a million years did I think we would get pregnant on our own. We had given up on the idea years ago. I feel so incredibly blessed to be growing our family.
Now believe me when I say this…my perspective has NOT changed. I still don’t believe in the “just stop trying and it will happen”, or the “just stop thinking about it! You’re stressing too much.” Because the truth it, we stopped trying years ago. And there has never been a moment where I haven’t thought about it, or stressed about it. In fact in December when we conceived, all I could think about was getting to January so we could try again. So no, I have not changed my mind on believing this mindset caused me to get pregnant. I do believe, that for whatever reason, the universe decided to give us the greatest blessing and gift of all. Against all odds, we were able to conceive and now we are expecting our rainbow baby.
I know this isn’t the case for everyone, hell I never thought it would be the case for me. I hope this provides someone out there with some hope, that you truly never know what is around the corner. All I know is, if you are struggling with infertility or loss, you are not alone, and I am sending you so much love, hope and support.
